Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Sad, but true.

After a late night out last night and just getting home tonight, I will likely keep this post very short (if I spend all my time blogging instead of with my lady I may stop having anything to blog about, ahem). It is, however, the late night out yesterday that sparked this story/reflection/group of thoughts/whatever you want to call it.

Jen and Julie Goldman
We went to go see a very close friend who is a stand-up comedian perform at a local club we frequent on occasion when we feel like kickin' our heels up. In honor of the women's final four being in Denver, two great Denver organizations, Babes Around Denver and Hip Chicks Out, put on a myriad of events over the course of the weekend in celebration of the occasion (as you might be able to imagine, there are a lot of "allies" in women's sports...). Last night was a comedy show with Julie Goldman as the headliner, and our dear friend Jen Sculley as the MC. They both did amazing, naturally.
Jen and Julie

I had never heard of Julie Goldman before (I'm not necessarily the "hippest chick out," if you will), but she seemed like somewhat of a big deal, at least in the community of people we were with. She ended her routine with an apparently pretty infamous little song she does called "commitment ceremony." Given that, if you are much of a detective, you can likely see where this post is headed. Now, the song is actually very funny. Sitting in a room full of women-loving women it was clear the song was not only a hit, but rang very very true in all of our ears, given the very genuine and hearty laughter that filled the space (which is saying something, as it was a pretty massive dance floor turned into an odd stage-space). It struck a lot of chords, to say the least.

So, pause.
You may want to stop and quickly watch what I will title as "I want to commitment ceremony you" by Julie Goldman or this option for the on-stage version, but you should skip to 1:05 and likely not watch the beginning part (it isn't rated G) if you opt for the second choice - they are both the same song. Just different settings. Oh, and regardless of the option you choose it still is not going to be G. Just a heads up.

Carrying on.
I started out laughing pretty loudly with the rest of the audience. As the song went on I got a little lost in thought (this is something that happens to me a lot, you might say). All that kept going through my head was...
"if only it wasn't a joke"

I mean, here we all sat laughing as though Bozo the clown himself was on stage (not sure that is really a good analogy, but just go with it - pretend you are your 4 year old self for a moment)... and what were we laughing at? Our own lack of civil rights in the state and country we call home? Check. Before the song started, she asked a room full of couples, "who's married out there?" Well, obviously no one was legally, but only one couple cheered. The two women had gone to Canada and gotten married. One couple out of hundreds... they traveled all the way to Canada (yes, Iowa is closer now), and yet there they sat and they technically were not married. The comedian went on to ask the audience just about couples, period. Trust me, there were many couples in this room (32 years together, 17 years together, 8 years together, 12 years together...). Out of all these hundreds of couples, one couple was "kind-of" married. 

Why? I think the title of this blog explains as much as there is to say here. It's a matter of simply not being afforded the right. Kind of silly, right? Ridiculous? ______? Indeed.  Instead, I get to get "commitment ceremonied" to my lady! 

Now, granted, I will call this my wedding and I will be married. None of this "union" or "commitment ceremony" balderdash. If it hasn't been clear, the title of this blog is a joke - that same joke Julie Goldman capitalized on in her song. The moral of the story here is just that I wish it wasn't - I very dearly wish it wasn't... I mean, jokes should be reserved for things like "Rick Santorum" (if you have the slightest hesitation or confusion around this, 31 Rick Santorum quotes should shed some light on it for you) or perhaps the interrupting cow.

Jen and Me
If only it wasn't a joke, I could be planning my wedding without any hesitation of the social backlash from it. I wouldn't have to continue to answer, "but, isn't it illegal there?" every time I explain that I am going to have my wedding right here in Colorado. I wouldn't be planning my honeymoon around flying out of NY, WA, or some other state where two women can be considered "married" in the eyes of the state. If getting married was a civil right I could count on, I would likely have never worried what my family and friends were going to say when I told them I was dating a woman in the first place... but it's a joke. 

If only it wasn't a joke - a joke that society perpetuates even our own community encourages. I know we laugh because it is so ridiculous, but we still laugh.

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